Proof that Disability Awareness is on the Rise

I never stop being surprised by the odd and often intrusive questions I am asked in relation to my disability. I can get into a taxi for example, and before I have finished fastening the seatbelt the questions begin, “What have you done to your legs then?” In response I find myself doing complex mental calculations that take into account length of the coming journey, my mood, level of patience and the need to explain a neurological diagnosis to someone who may well have never heared of the condition I have.

On a bad day, early in the morning my response would be, “It’s just something I was born with.” in the hope that I can shut the conversation down and get on with my day unencumbered. If I have time on my hands or am feeling motivated to spread the word, make a difference and in some small way put a dent in expectations that ultimately bring about social change, you will get an answer that begins, “Well it’s not so much legs as brain.” then going on to explain the risk factors of being born prematurely and the effects of multiple respiratory arrests on the infant brain.

Many people think the past 20 years has been a watershed in terms of social attitudes and this is true in many ways. However, I am still surprised how people constantly assume that you want to discuss every aspect of your life in mind numbing and yes startlingly intimate detail. On the positive side this does mean that at least people think there is a possibility of my having a significant other, and this is progress in itself.

The sociocultural distance travelled was pointed out to me a few years ago in a rather unexpected and amusing incident. There is a small corner shop on the high street, near the flats where I used to live, the sort of place you could pop to when you were running short on milk. Most of the buildings locally were erected well over a century ago and as a result they were not especially wheelchair friendly. The shop in question had three steps up to the front door which made for an interesting retail experience. When shopping here I would have to stop my chair, bang on the window, or grab a fellow shopper on their way inside to get the assistant’s attention. The shop assistant would then come to the door, I would shout up my order, they would fetch the items and bring them down to me, I would pay, they would go back in then return with my change and a receipt.

One hot Sunday in July I was sitting in my flat’s communal garden with a friend, we both wanted an ice-cream and I decided to throw caution to the wind and go and get them along with a packet of Hobnobs as my parents were visiting later in the afternoon. I set off to the local shop to get them. I got to the shop and went through the usual routine of banging on the window, the elderly male assistant stood at the top of the steps and I called up the order. All was going as usual as I sat texting friends whilst waiting for the old man’s return. He came back after a few minutes with two Magnums wrapped in newspaper to slow their melting, he placed them silently in my lap along with a packet of ……… condoms!I sat staring at them, featherlite and ribbed for her extra pleasure, then looked up at him; he stood quietly unable to meet my eyes. I handed a £10 note over, he dashed up the steps and came out in a flash with change and a receipt and I wheeled myself hurriedly away. I imagine he thought I was in for a very interesting afternoon, that didn’t involve dunking things in tea!

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